Brandon is a quality specialist at Emma, making sure new Emma features and products are thoroughly tested and -- dare we say -- perfect. And we do dare. Because Brandon knows perfect, having achieved perfect attendance for the entirety of grade school. We're talking kindergarten to senior year, folks. Brandon never faked a fever in order to stay home and watch game shows. Nor did he forge a permission slip so he could spend the day constructing a Plinko set in the backyard. [Editor's note: these scenarios are hypothetical and by no means drawn from the editor's own childhood obsession with Bob Barker.] Anyway, as such, we decided he was a model of human achievement even before we learned he owns an original 1977 pressing of the Star Wars soundtrack. He also calls Alaska a cold version of Texas! And he has a motorcycle! Man, this guy is awesome.